|Posted by Electric Frog on November 26, 2012 at 7:00 AM||comments (0)|
I am worthless and useless.
I have no friends, as there is very little about me that is likeable.
I am ugly and fat.
When I talk, nobody listens. Why would they? I have nothing to say that could possibly be of any interest to anybody.
My family only put up with me out of duty and obligation. They would be better off if I were dead.
I'm not good at anything really. People who praise my artwork are just humoring me.
I have nothing worthwhile to contribute to the world.
The only reason I don't kill myself right now is because i'm a coward.
My future is bleak. When i try to look into it, all I see is darkness and despair. I have nothing to look forward to, and that's fine because I don't deserve to have.
Many days, it's a real struggle not to spend the entire day crying. Some days, I give in to it and don't even try. Some days i can't even see any point in getting out of bed.
The medication i take amounts to around a dozen pills a day.
But hey..... depression isn't a "real" illness right? I just need to "pull myself together", right?
Or maybe I'm "faking it" to have a "cushy life on benefits", yeah?
Of course i have to act like this 24/7 to fool my family.... but obviously it's worth it so i get to stay at home watching Jeremy Kyle. I also have to fool my GP, so she gives me pills and writes my sick notes. I also have to fool my therapist who i visit once a week for cognitive therapy.... but hey, it's worth it for the "easy life", right?
I have zero social life as i have to "pretend" to be unhappy and not want to go out. But it's worth it, of course.
I also had to give up a well paid job, but hey, benefits are so damned generous that i'm obviously better off on under a hundred quid a week than i was on over five hundred. Of course I am, it's obvious isn't it.
Trust me. Depression is NOT a lifestyle choice. Do not judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes.
|Posted by Electric Frog on October 30, 2012 at 9:45 AM||comments (0)|
A good man, with something that seems to be largely lacking in today's politicians - common sense. Even if you don't live anywhere near Corby, success for this guy could mean the start of real changes for the better in this country. If you can afford anything, even just £1, it's well worth donating.
|Posted by Electric Frog on October 24, 2012 at 5:40 AM||comments (0)|
Not related to the content of this site at all, but something i feel compelled to share....
A headline in one of the papers (that i wouldn't usually give the time of day to) caught my eye today. "'Disability Hate Crimes' rise by a quarter in a year', and my mind was drawn back to events from my childhood.
My eldest brother, who is autistic and epileptic, was hounded by a large number of people from as early as i can remember. Teasing and name calling were everyday occurrences, while on a bad day he would be spat at, have stones thrown at him, and even be chased up the road with sticks. Sometimes it was small groups of kids, other times they were joined by adults. Sometimes the groups of kids would disappear only to return later with "reinforcements".
My parents reported this to the police quite often, the most helpful advice given being "Maybe you should keep him indoors?". We knew who these people were, we knew where they lived, but the police said they could do nothing unless they caught them in the act.... and we needed to report these incidents as they were happening. How? This was the 70s and 80s - there were no mobile phones, and not that many house phones.
Eventually Tony suffered multiple strokes brought on by the stress of his existence, and has been in a residential care home since 1998. At first i was sad for him, but looking back now i think maybe he has a better quality of life than he ever did before. And there's another reason he might be better off where he is.... bullying and harassment of the sick and disabled doesn't only come from groups of scum on the streets these days, there's a far more sinister threat from our very own government.
If he hadn't had a stroke and require full time residential care, no doubt he would now be subject to the unfair, humiliating and frankly shambolic "WCA" (Work Capability Assessment). These tests, carried out by a French IT firm (Atos Origin, with a newly invented department called Atos Healthcare), are a computer based tick-box test designed with the sole intention of stripping the most vulnerable people of their benefits. In actual fact, the software called LIMA was designed by insurance firm UNUM as a way of refusing health insurance claims. The system was developed in the USA where their test centres became known as "Disability Denial Factories". It wasn't too long before the system was deemed unlawful, and banned from use in America. So then our government bought the system, to use against it's own people - the ones it is employed to serve. It would be a joke if it wasn't so tragic.
Some time ago, a report revealed that 26 people per week were dying of their illness within 6 weeks of being declared "fit for work" by this system. Since then the figure has been revealed to be nearly 3 times that - 72 in fact.
But people in this country have been lied to, by government propaganda and sensationalist reporting in the gutter press. A recent survey revealed that the average joe believes that 75% of all people in reciept of health related benifits are "faking it", when the official figure from the governments own department (the DWP) is less than 1%.
Headlines from the likes of The Sun and The Mail screamed "Two Thirds Of Disabled People Faking It" and such like. Articles went on to point out that 75% of people that are subject to the WCA are declared fit for work.
Of course they failed to point out that a high percentage of those decisions are overturned by an independant tribunal, that a high proportion of their so-called Healthcare Professionals were under investigation by the GMC and the NMC. They won't tell you about the software used and the related scandal accross the pond. They won't tell you that even when people meet the required"descriptors" that the assessor will lie on the report and leave out vital information. They would never mention that even people with terminal cancer were being thrown off benefits and told to get a job. Jobs that don't exist by the way.
6 million (at least) in this country currently looking for full time employment, for around half a million vacancies....
But i think i'll leave that rant for another day....
|Posted by Electric Frog on February 25, 2012 at 11:40 AM||comments (0)|
After another chat with the lovely lady at Nucleus Arts Maidstone, I decided to try something new. She and her colleague particularly liked some of the tribal animal designs i had sketched, and suggested i scan, seperate and enlarge them. So I did... then I started thinking (always a dangerous thing for me, usually results in the smell of burning rubber and the sound of slowly turning cogs permeating the air). So after seperating the images into one per page I started mucking about with negatives, colour tints, borders and such. The results were rather pleasing. Check out the new "Tribal" section of my gallery and let me know what you think. I've always fancied having a go at digital imaging, but being on a very limited budget (and still awaiting that ever elusive first paying job) there's no way i could afford decent software. So what we have here is the best i could manage given the limitations of free opensource software.
There's a link to what i used on my Links page.
|Posted by Electric Frog on February 22, 2012 at 9:35 AM||comments (0)|
This is a very cool book, and it's free to download. This guy deserves some recognition!
Visit www.everflamebook.com to download
|Posted by Electric Frog on February 18, 2012 at 9:45 AM||comments (0)|
Well, what to say.... there hasn't been much going on lately, so a fresh assault is required. I've uploaded images to a few online galleries, with some positive feedback. I've been on DeviantArt for a while now, but this week i've joined Inkbunny, Fur Affinity, Artwanted.com, Zazzle and Darkmedia City. This site has been getting a few hits every day too, with traffic coming from a variety of sources.
A few days ago i had a meeting with a lovely lady from Nucleus Arts, a gallery here in Maidstone, and they are keen to exhibit some of my work. With the wedding coming up (March 30th) I dont have time to prepare the pieces at the moment, so that's likely to happen around April/May. Things may start happening for me soon, watch this space....
|Posted by Electric Frog on August 9, 2011 at 12:55 PM||comments (0)|
Ok, not really relevant here, but it's the hot topic of the moment and I have some thoughts i feel like sharing.
These people are not protesting about anything, that is pretty clear. In fact, the people involved that i've heard being interviewed don't have the intelligence to understand anything that's worth protesting against.
Two charming young ladies from Croydon (interviewed whilst consuming a stolen bottle of wine for breakfast) stated "Chuckin bottles n stuff... it's fun. 'Course it is. We're showing the police and the rich people we can do what we want, innit?"
I'm actually all in favour of protests, if they're aimed at appropriate targets. If these people were attacking government buildings and banks, i'd probably just shrug and say "Oh well, karma." but these idiots are attacking people of there own class, burning family run businesses.
Fucking idiots, the lot of them. And it's such a waste of effort, because in the end it will achieve absolutely nothing but a load of derelict areas that are good for nothing and will never be rebuilt.
If these muppets had the brains to organise, they could probably achieve something worthwhile. What a waste.
|Posted by Electric Frog on July 13, 2011 at 8:32 AM||comments (2)|
I've been a bit lazy lately, and haven't produced any work for a couple of weeks. That's gonna change now though, with a series of John Carpenter themed pieces. Why JC? Because the man truly is The Master of Horror, and a complete legend. That's why. I haven't been completely idle though, i have been trying to promote myself with links here from various forums ad the like. I've also joined Twitter ([email protected] if you want to follow me). I've also submitted some pics to various illustration agencies... i havent heard back yet, so either they haven't checked their emails yet or they don't think i'm good enough. I'll bloody well show them!
On a seperate note, the final draft of Collaberation of the Dead Presents: Putrid Poetry and Sickening Sketches has apparently gone to the printers, and Matt Nord is expecting a proof copy any day now. I've seen the e version, and it looks damn good. Can't wait to hold a print version in my hands and be able to say "I'm published!"
|Posted by Electric Frog on July 6, 2011 at 7:50 PM||comments (0)|
This is a very exciting time for me. A couple of weeks ago i recieved an email from Matt Nord (a horror author) asking if i'd be interested in submitting some pieces for an upcoming project. Well of course i said yes and sent some material, and yesterday i recieved an e version of the proof copy. The book is called "Collaberation of the Dead Presents: Putrid Poetry and Sickening Sketches" and it contains 2 of my pictures, a limerick and a poem. It's due out in print and for Kindle mid to late August. Look out for it!